I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The struggles of a small town man whore
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
