We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize