I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
