His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
i think im in europe. pls send help
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
