dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
