I hate all girls vehemently.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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