It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
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