this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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