If that was your dad, he is hot
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
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