so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
