i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
