Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
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Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
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My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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