I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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