Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We had sex on a dog bed..
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
