just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
