He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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