No, drunk sperm still make babies.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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