she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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