Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
