People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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