We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
