dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
