also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
