you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Just high enough for therapy.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
