honey bunches of taint.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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