I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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