there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I love you. Go after that dick
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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