FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you win again, gameday.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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