I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
