It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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