I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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