Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
