we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize