I cannot find my penis.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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