It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Dignity is for republicans.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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