you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
