lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
