Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
