you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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