There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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