and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
