Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
