Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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