she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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