Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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