do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
