i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
