well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
