Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize