Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
