I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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