so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Dick very happy bro
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
