Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
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We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
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Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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