Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
