I swear she didn't look like that last week.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
