he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
