Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Randomize
