Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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