this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
