4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
